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To Learn How To Fly

by Katy Hallauer

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1.
Got my head on the table I can't concentrate Can't be too early but I can't be too late Do you know what it's like To be so lost from the crowd My brain is breaking I am shaking Can't I see straight Something is fogged My mind is clogged It's only quarter past eight I'm already out lost at sea But that's normal for me Talk to me I'll talk to you But I might not make sense Apologize, I'll close my eyes I'm a stuttering mess So tired of overthinking every word Looking from the outside It's so absurd Oh, frustration, I'm picking up all the signs Desperation to impress But I'm not quite right Oh, distraction Help me, who am I concentrating on Sensory Overload So many things is this all just a joke Better stop pushing me I think I might choke Oh, you've got me running away Oh, I don't think I'll stay
2.
Comprehend 03:05
Would it matter to you If you looked through And saw me suffering Would you even care Could you even bare If I wasn’t happy with you Is it okay Do you mind if I think things through Is it alright If I stop giving myself to you Got me thinking I’m going crazy Thinking I’m going insane But no, that’s just you Oh, I know it’s just your game Got me talking to total strangers Asking who’s blame But no, that’s just you Oh, I know it’s just your game My eyes Frantically Searching for meaning Comprehend Or take my hand Tell me it’s going to be alright Is it okay Do you mind if I think things through Is it alright If I stop giving myself to you Got me thinking I’m going crazy Thinking I’m going insane But no, that’s just you Oh, I know it’s just your game Got me talking to total strangers Asking who’s blame But no, that’s just you Oh, I know it’s just your game Your game Take me away You think I’m okay But I’ll leave you Like I want to You’re keeping me up at night I’ll turn off the light You’re so loud I could block my ears But instead, I’ll turn up the music so you disappear Got me thinking I’m going crazy Thinking I’m going insane But no, that’s just you Oh, I know it’s just your game Got me talking to total strangers Asking who’s blame But no, that’s just you Oh, I know it’s just your game Got me thinking I'm going crazy Got me talking to total strangers Asking who's to blame It's just your game
3.
I don’t feel so good Seems the world’s gone cold And I don’t feel old enough to deal With all the things Oh it’s like smoke in a factory And I don’t think I can breathe Cause you’re in Rome And I’m not Hoped I’d be somewhere else be now What a thought Oh you’re Rome And you’re good But I’m still sitting in this god damn neighbourhood I see I’m going to Watch you from afar Living life Like you said you would, oh I’m still afraid of driving cars And taking chances Oh, I’m too scared of the answers now You did what they all doubted And I lived up to the low expectations You grinned but I shouted Oh, fighting for so long And I still can’t hum along Cause you’re in Rome And I’m not Hoped I’d be somewhere else be now What a thought Oh you’re Rome And you’re good But I’m still sitting in this god damn neighbourhood I see I’m going to Watch you from afar Living life Like you said you would, oh I’m still afraid of driving cars And taking chances Oh, I’m too scared of the answers now Cause you’re in Rome And I’m not Hoped I’d be somewhere else be now What a thought Oh you’re Rome And you’re good But I’m still sitting in this god damn neighbourhood I don’t think I can Watch you from afar Living life Like you said you would, oh I’m still afraid of driving cars And taking chances Oh, I’m too scared of the answers now
4.
Questions 04:51
What do I need to feel full again What do I need to give you your grin Why do I feel so uninspired and tired Like an old man falling asleep Why do I miss what I never had Why do I feel so damn sad for no reason Why do I yearn for a time I never saw Why do I hope that things will change after all And I’ve begun to push people away Just like they say on a list of symptoms for heartache Don’t be scared of me I’m just trying to fall asleep How do I live without him right here How do I ignore exactly what I fear How do I look at pictures and not burst into tears How do I block out the voices I hear And I’ve begun to push people away Just like they say on a list of symptoms for heartache Don’t be scared of me I’m just trying to fall asleep Why do I knock on your door and get no answer Why do I feel like I never will Well maybe I won’t but I’ll still be wishing on stars And I’ll keep your light shining on And I’ve begun to push people away Just like they say on a list of symptoms for heartache Don’t be scared of me I’m just trying to fall asleep again
5.
I know it’s been some time But I wanna go home now I know they tried to take it all away But distance can’t stop me now I’m on my way Be ready at the fire Just like you used to I tried to warn I phoned a thousand times But no one seemed to answer my calls Take your time please I’ll wait and ring the bell Anything for you Just like we used to say Day after day, after day, after day Til all the smiles fell away But let’s not mind that I’ll see you soon I can feel it in my heart No, let’s not mind that I’ll make my way to you Through libraries and books I’ll learn everything, just look I said “I promise you” that day And I still do I still do Either you’re not home Or the door must be stuck Maybe that’s how cobwebs made their way Is it too late now to say “I miss you” I mean I came At least I came
6.
Seeing you on the edge again I’m thinking I’ll take it slowly this time Feeling like I’m on the ledge again Won’t you tell me to step back quickly It’s sickly To hear breaking up on the phone And blaming it on the service again To see you moving out your old home To your new place in the suburbs, baby I’m coming for you I’m coming for you I’m coming for you And I won’t let go So easily You make it hard to breathe I’m on my way To yesterday Save a life, save a name Save the day and make it quickly this time Just a tiny little speck on the street to you Could you just wait a few damn minutes For me I broke my ankle last week Got it bandaged up It’s okay now Are you baby? I’m coming for you I’m coming for you I’m coming for you And I won’t let go So easily You make it hard to breathe I’m on my way To yesterday Seeing you on the bridge again I’m thinking I moved too slowly this time Headlines rate it was a beautiful day with a slight chance of falling debris Look at you, You got that wish You finally learnt how to fly through the sky Look at me sat writing lists of every possible alibi But I’m still coming for you Coming for you Coming for you And I won’t let go So easily You make it hard to breathe I’m on my way To yesterday I can see it now You’re on the plane To your nice new place With the cute street name I see it all You hang up the call You give it all up To learn how to fly

credits

released September 4, 2020

Music and Lyrics - Caitlin Hallauer
Production - Caitlin Hallauer

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Katy Hallauer Cape Town, South Africa

A 22-year-old singer-songwriter from South Africa. I love writing songs from personal experiences and emotions in hopes that others, who feel the same, can relate to my music. Influenced by artists such as Orla Gartland, dodie and a mix of rock, pop and alternative music. ... more

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